For most people when they married they were “in love” with their new spouse but what did that word love mean?
The majority of couples setting out on married life rightly think they will experience all the lovely feelings of affection and pleasure on their wedding day forever. They fully intend that their future will include each other forever and ever. That’s why they have promised that lifelong commitment.
It comes as a shock then when that marriage ends in divorce and unsurprisingly the realism that forever and ever ended.
When your marriage ends you realize what that hard work means and that love can all too soon wither and die when the hard work stops and sometimes you can carry this into a new relationship after divorce.
You’ve learned that no matter how much effort you put into loving your partner, you leave yourself open to rejection and that vulnerability can cause barriers. You have no control over another’s feelings towards you and these feeling can change sometimes for the good but maybe for the bad. When you divorce it is important then that you need to learn to love yourself first – however obvious that may seem.
Once you accept yourself as a strong capable and worthy human being then you are on your way to embracing the possibility of a new relationship without fear.
Throughout life we will have people we love but some relationships are worth our input some not so much. Your perception of love has changed and you’ve learned the difference between being in movie love to having a sustainable loving relationship. Embrace your new skill.