Infidelity in a marriage is the biggest betrayal that can occur between two people. It destroys faith and trust and can be both emotionally and physically damaging. Irrespective of the circumstances or how the infidelity is discovered of confessed the bubble has been burst and can never be totally repaired.
For some couples infidelity leads to the marriage irretrievably breaking down and inevitably leads to divorce. For others they may decide to work at it. No matter what a couple chooses to do there will still be the need for one part of the couple to address the devastating effect this has had on their life.
To enable the betrayed spouse to move forward with life after the affair and to prevent them carrying forward the pain of betrayal into new relationships they need to be able to forgive.
Some of you may be saying that’s impossible how do you forgive the pain and humiliation and destruction of a marriage, home and possibly family? Well that’s not actually the question.
The question is do you love yourself enough to allow yourself to leave behind all those negative thoughts, emotions and experiences? This should not be mistaken for a cart blanche approval of the errant spouse’s actions. They have to live with themselves and their actions and that is not your responsibility. No, this is about allowing you to heal to accept the difference between forgiving and forgetting.
As the betrayed spouse you will never forget a marital affair. The betrayal will creep up on you at unexpected moments but you need to be in control of this monster and the only way to do that is to forgive. You will set yourself free from those chains your ex’s infidelity had chained you with. It no longer defines you. The ex is no longer an item in your life you’re free and can experience the power of forgiveness. You’ve gifted that to yourself.
It will be hard there is no doubt but if you work at it you will find that your health will improve you will no longer be stressed and anxious or hurt. You will be able to face new relationships from a wiser but calmer outlook.